The new fallen snow. A white covering of all things.
Landscapes that yesterday we thought horrible are now pristine and beautiful.
The broken down Big Wheel, the swing collapsed on the ground, the garbage
strewn along the side of the house. All of the things that we just do. We are
too busy to pick it up. We are too lazy to fix this or that. We grow
complacent. This is my lot. This is the best I can do. But when that first snow
falls everything changes. All of a sudden, that house looks as good as all the
houses on the block. No one has garbage cans
tipped over, or anything out of place. It all looks white. It all looks new. It
all looks right. The bad things are covered; temporarily out of sight. For a
time, we take a sigh of relief and get a sense of well- being. For a time, it looks like we have done what we
are supposed to have done. We are
upright citizens. We have a sense of confidence. “This old place really isn’t
so bad”, we tell ourselves. But at some point, the snow will melt. The fading
façade will reveal the real truth. Maybe we don’t really have it all together.
Maybe we feel as bad as the yard looks. Maybe all this beautiful snow is
covering up more than just the physical mess, but also the mess inside. Maybe
the messy yard is indicative of the inner mess. Maybe I’m just a mess.
Everyone has stuff going on. The thing is, what we do with
it. Some will sit and ponder their mess. They will mull over past events,
decisions. They will wallow over regrets and opportunities they have let slip
through their fingers. These are not the folks who have a regret or two, but
rather the ones that put a high importance on each one and place it on a
pedestal. Their regrets are so consuming that their physical surroundings begin
to morph out of their emotional selves. Their white snowy blanket is just a
fleeting reprieve from the cell they have created for themselves. To catch a
breath before going back into the torment of living a life of what if’s.
Others will try and keep their snowy camouflage as long as possible.
They will take the innocent snow and add sparkle and decorations. They will
dress it up so no one will see the emptiness which is their true self. Their
need for love, acceptance, belonging. These are such monumental and blaring
feelings that they must keep adding bling to try and silence them. These are
the ones who we suspect the least of having to hide anything. The ones who look
so beautiful yet hurt so badly, and the last ones to ask for help.
And then there is the house on the street that is still
trying, but has seen better days. The blanket of snow signifies loss. Memories
of earlier days when little ones decorated the snow with polka dots and angels.
The snow reminds of us what we had. We have a life now, but it is not as it
was; and it makes us sad. We know the drill. The snow will come, and the snow
will go. But now the peaks and valley are much smaller. We trudge along day by
day forcing ourselves to keep moving. The alternative is to stop and become
stagnant. A statue if you will. Watching the world around us go by but being
overwhelmed by it. We believe there is a future for us but are fumbling in the
dark trying to forge a new path.
But all are grateful for that first snow of winter. All
realize its affects are translucent yet still remarkably calming. For a moment
we are all the same. We all look great, feel completed, and are optimistic for
what will happen when the snow finally melts.
Written by my friend Holly Flowers
