His Relentless Love

May Christmas not only be in your hearts today

but give you hope for your tomorrows!

Merry Christmas!

Emmanuel… God is with us

In Honor of Karla

Within the past 2 weeks, I have had to struggle with my friend’s sudden death.  According to how I think, she should not have died so young.  She should have lived to old age; to see her grandchildren grow up.  She should have taken that trip to Hawaii to await the arrival of her newest granddaughter.  This isn’t the way it should be; that’s how I think.

In my grief, the Lord gave me a visual- a canvas painting of her life.  The only problem was, I could only see one very small section of that picture illuminated; the rest was dark to me- I could not see it.  God sees the whole, I cannot.  Therefore, I don’t understand the why, the purpose for her sudden departure.  Maybe if I could see it all, I would understand but for some reason God chooses to let me see only one small part.

I rejoice that she is with the Lord.  She is free of pain and the physical frustrations she suffered.  She kept her trust in God through it all- refusing to give in to self-pity and despair.  I rejoice for her but the pain of her leaving is tough.  The “whys” remain unanswered; I choose to trust a loving God who painted her canvas.

I can grieve with hope because I know someday I will see my friend again.

Suddenly you left...

we grieve in hope but for those

left behind...sorrow

Good Friday

spilt blood overflows

mingling with our brokenness... 

healing seeping in

                                   -margaret slabach

A heart at peace with

the Creator’s design

beauty to behold

SNOW

The new fallen snow. A white covering of all things. Landscapes that yesterday we thought horrible are now pristine and beautiful. The broken down Big Wheel, the swing collapsed on the ground, the garbage strewn along the side of the house. All of the things that we just do. We are too busy to pick it up. We are too lazy to fix this or that. We grow complacent. This is my lot. This is the best I can do. But when that first snow falls everything changes. All of a sudden, that house looks as good as all the houses on the block.  No one has garbage cans tipped over, or anything out of place. It all looks white. It all looks new. It all looks right. The bad things are covered; temporarily out of sight. For a time, we take a sigh of relief and get a sense of well- being.  For a time, it looks like we have done what we are supposed to have done.  We are upright citizens. We have a sense of confidence. “This old place really isn’t so bad”, we tell ourselves. But at some point, the snow will melt. The fading façade will reveal the real truth. Maybe we don’t really have it all together. Maybe we feel as bad as the yard looks. Maybe all this beautiful snow is covering up more than just the physical mess, but also the mess inside. Maybe the messy yard is indicative of the inner mess. Maybe I’m just a mess.

Everyone has stuff going on. The thing is, what we do with it. Some will sit and ponder their mess. They will mull over past events, decisions. They will wallow over regrets and opportunities they have let slip through their fingers. These are not the folks who have a regret or two, but rather the ones that put a high importance on each one and place it on a pedestal. Their regrets are so consuming that their physical surroundings begin to morph out of their emotional selves. Their white snowy blanket is just a fleeting reprieve from the cell they have created for themselves. To catch a breath before going back into the torment of living a life of what if’s.

Others will try and keep their snowy camouflage as long as possible. They will take the innocent snow and add sparkle and decorations. They will dress it up so no one will see the emptiness which is their true self. Their need for love, acceptance, belonging. These are such monumental and blaring feelings that they must keep adding bling to try and silence them. These are the ones who we suspect the least of having to hide anything. The ones who look so beautiful yet hurt so badly, and the last ones to ask for help.

And then there is the house on the street that is still trying, but has seen better days. The blanket of snow signifies loss. Memories of earlier days when little ones decorated the snow with polka dots and angels. The snow reminds of us what we had. We have a life now, but it is not as it was; and it makes us sad. We know the drill. The snow will come, and the snow will go. But now the peaks and valley are much smaller. We trudge along day by day forcing ourselves to keep moving. The alternative is to stop and become stagnant. A statue if you will. Watching the world around us go by but being overwhelmed by it. We believe there is a future for us but are fumbling in the dark trying to forge a new path.

But all are grateful for that first snow of winter. All realize its affects are translucent yet still remarkably calming. For a moment we are all the same. We all look great, feel completed, and are optimistic for what will happen when the snow finally melts. 

Written by my friend Holly Flowers

 Born in simple stall

announced by angelic choir

worshiped by shepherds

birth unnoticed… born to bring

us His peace, hope and freedom

Merry Christmas!!!

Have a blessed New Year